You can’t love another until you love yourself
But in order to love, you must be free, for to love is to give your self to someone or something freely, completely, unconditionally, and without reservation. It is as if you could take the essence of your very self in your hands and give it to another person. Yet to give your self - to another person, to an endeavor, or to God - you must first possess your self. This possession of self is freedom. It is a prerequisite for love, and is attained only through discipline.
This is why so very few relationships thrive in our time. The very nature of love requires self-possession. Without self-mastery, self-control, self-dominion, we are incapable of love…
The problem is we don’t want discipline. We want someone to tell us that we can be happy without discipline. But we can’t…The two are directly related.
- Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy (Taken from Love and Responsibility)